Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Breaking Down Religious Stupidity Part 2

So this bible-humping douchebag gets into an argument with me about the ethics of the Bible and its obvious he has very little clue what he's talking about since he can't even coincide his stupidity with what other Creationist sites say.

So, this idiot sends me, so that I might "see the light", not one but THREE Ron Wyatt videos that have ALL had their comments disabled. Well, the first time I did this, I trashed Ron Wyatt's excursion into the Exodus, which I had to post on a James Randi video.

So now its time for history to repeat itself as I dive back into the monumental stupidity that is RON WYATT


0:00 - 2:30 - Title screen silliness and lots of photos. The words "To be testified in time" flash across the bottom of the screen and I can't help but chuckle at how long this introduction is taking.

2:30 - 4:25 - Retelling of the Ark story. God hated all the people so he drowned them and apparently none of them had boats or other sea-worthy crafts. Water covered the earth and all life except that on the S.S. Minnow were saved. After 8 months, the Ark landed on solid ground, all the trees and grass that died were also brought back to life and all the marsupials were FedEx'd to Australia because they were right bastards the whole trip.

4:25 - 5:12 - Ron Wyatt stretches a bit, but not unreasonably, and attempts to redefine where in ancient Uratu the Ark landed (not on Mount Ararat) and it is apparently on a hill that the boat came to rest.

5:13 - 5:56 - A lot of people went to this site before Ron Wyatt and saw the "boat shaped" object in the ground. Everyone who went there before Ron Wyatt said "Prematurely" that it was a natural formation. But of course, Ron Wyatt knew better.

5:57 - 6:58 - A lot of Turkish geography, but nothing else.

6:58 - 7:45 - It is revealed that Ron Wyatt only had 3 days to search for Noah's Ark on his first trip. Remember when they said the other groups that came to the same region came to their conclusions prematurely? Well those expert archaeologists had two days of directly digging in the boat shaped mass.

7:46 - 8:55 - The field comes to "The Ark". How nice of them to draw conclusions before examination. The crew finds a symmetrical shape which they believe could not have been made by nature. Personally, I would have been more impressed if they found asymmetrical book stacking. The area is named after the myth and apparently... this counts... as evidence?

8:56 - 10:00 - People from all over come to the official naming of the site and the video claims its because of the find and not because of the intense tourist attraction Ron Wyatt has created. Yeah, right. And Paul Bunyan Land was named after the discovery of Babe's mummified corpse. "Noah's ark had been found" - again no evidence.

10:01 - 10:25 - Artist renderings of the boat. Ooooooh.

10:26 - 11:00 - Look at this. A buncha rocks. And people are coming in from all over to see this. Nope this isn't a tourist trap. Its a real historical find.

11:01 - 14:05 - Now we're going to talk to a tour guide because they're much more reliable than actual historians or archaeologists and its not like his career is maintained by perpetuating the legend. By the way, he saw a hole in the ground after an earthquake and it was boat shaped. He also saw a lot of lights in the skies. They make sure to take the time to film everything this guy says but for some reason edit the film right before each translation.

14:06 - 15:43 - Ahh. A 20/20 news clip, surely they can be trusted to send us actual evidence that this formation is the actual Noah's Ark. David Fasold is being brought in because Ron Wyatt is tired of ruining his own career. But they did said something about scientific evidence...

15:44 - 16:05 - And awww shit... the guy's using a fucking dowsing rod. And not surprisingly the "iron" this guy is detecting runs all over the boat formation. With all the edits in this film, you'd think these idiots would have the god damn sense to cut that part out.

16:06 - 17:45 - People of "Higher Academic Interest" (e.g. John Baumgardner of the Creationist group IDEA and the only one at the site with a doctorate) start showing up with metal detectors. He finds a piece of iron and ships it back to the states to confirm it is iron. This lump of iron is the only shred of physical evidence they can provide thus far. Of course it is never revealed that John has since declared that this site is NOT a man-made structure but a natural formation just as the original team back in 1960 discovered.

17:46 - 18:07 - The Rorschach test made those who wanted to see timbers, see timbers. Another artist's rendering shows "evidence" (oh wait, no it doesn't) of what the formations beneath the rocks might have looked like if they were actually allowed to dig there. Nearly half way through the best we've got is lump of iron - the most common metal on earth.

18:08 - 18:45 - A third party, located in the states, that never went to the site, looks at second hand dowsing rod data and the VP sees timbers in the Rorschach test too. So of course we must have supporting physical evidence that the timbers were there, right? OF COURSE NOT.

18:45 - 19:10 - More artist renderings of the Ark. Oooooooh.

19:10 - 20:00 - the video flat out lies about the dimensions of the rock formation. The rock formation is 538 ft long, and not the exact 515 ft as described by the video. Nevermind the fact that there is absolutely NO geological evidence of a world wide flood or the distribution of species makes this legend complete bullshit, I guess its those extra 23 ft that would have been too much for the true believers to handle.

20:01 - 20:25 - The ridges on the side of the rock are obviously ship timbers and not natural formations. Also the fact that the mud runs around the formation is apparently more evidence that the formation is man-made. Any REAL evidence of this? Nope. Evidence is a four-letter word to Ronnie boy.

20:26 - 21:45 - Hey look a couple of cute kids. They'll distract you from the fact that we haven't actually shown any direct evidence that this is Noah's Ark and yet we're talking aimlessly about how this would be seen as Noah's Ark if you squinted hard enough. We see a rib-shaped rock and conclude that its an actual rib from a ship. Evidence? NO. Nein. Nicht. Nada. Zilch.

21:46 - 22:30 - Now we're going to look at some rock formations that we're going to say look like they're set at regular intervals even though its entirely obvious even from watching the video that they're not.

22:31 - 22:42 - The pointy rock that sits on the side of the formation doesn't coincide with anything we can find in boat construction so we're just going to say the boat slid into it as the boat settled into its final resting space.

22:43 - 23:35 - Another one of Ron's mysterious artifacts pops up out of nowhere with no archaeological support on where it was located or in what position it was found. It contains 18.36 times as much iron than inorganic carbon and less than one-hundredth of a percent of organic carbon so they conclude its a fossilized deck timber. They also mention nails inside the artifact, but they don't actually show any.

23:36 - 23:49 - Ron REALLY stretches for evidence when they claim that a nearby village kinda sounds like a village of a different name in the Babylonian telling of the deluge myth. Of course they don't mention that the Babylonian individual that sailed the boat was named Utnapishtim, which sounds absolutely nothing like Noah.

23:50 - 24:00 - Now we're going back to fucking Josephus. A little history lesson here. Josephus is proclaimed by crackpot creationists to be a first century historian even though he was born in the later part of the first century. His only history book was written about the Jewish wars. The other book he is famous for, and quoted most often, was called Antiquities of the Jews and is a retelling of Jewish folklore starting with Adam and Eve. The fact that this was NOT a historical book has never once stopped creationists from quoting it as if it were the Encyclopedia Britannica.

24:01 - 24:40 - This has to be the dumbest part of the entire damn film. The video claims that because of the formation's accessibility that it would have been a tourist trap for the people coming to see the boat. And because Noah was such a marketable trade, the video says they sold pottery with the image of Noah on it. Their evidence? Are you ready for this? A pot shard with a rough exterior that they drew on themselves to make it look like a guy using a hammer.

"Amazing Evidence"... My head hurts.

24:41 - 25:55 - Ron Wyatt, unsubstantiatably, produces a cat hair, a petrified turd and a chunk of horn from a hole in the ground. More magic artifacts that have yet to be substantiated. Ron also find a chunk of metal which contains Aluminum metal, which the video says is man-made and thus proves the formation site is also man-made. What is conveniently left out is that Aluminum was never used as a metal until the 19th century. In ancient times, unrefined Alum powder was only used in dyes, not in rivets. So Ron really bombed on that one. You may also notice that he never bothers to test the animal remains he finds.

25:56 - 28:40 - Was Ron lying? You better believe it. But in case you don't the Ark Discovery Group (the ones producing this film - so you know they're going to be honest) says they used a metal detector to find metal rivets, but instead shows a "cresent-shaped" lump of black rock in the ground which it claims was an iron washer. It looked like another petrified turd to me. A lab result shows Aluminum metal and Titanium metal and claims that this shows that these were man-made metals. This is incredibly bogus. Titanium was not discovered as a metal until the late 18th century. So the idea that either Aluminum or Titanium were either used purposefully in ancient metal rivets is the very definition of ridiculous. So instead of realizing that this metal was modern, the crackpots prefer to believe that these metal shards, that were obviously not planted by Ron Wyatt (Like his chariot wheels at the Red Sea Crossing), were instead evidence of ancient man's superior knowledge of metallurgy.

Holy shit. This article is getting long.

28:41 - 32:22 - Anchor Stones. In the interest of saving time (and my sanity) I'm just going to direct the people reading this to the wikipedia article which states that these hoaxes were all carved from local rocks. Even Wyatt's buddy Fasold realized this.

32:23 - 34:17 - Something else that Ron Wyatt couldn't substantiate.

34:18 - 35:05 - Ron makes the unsubstantiated claim that he has found Noah's house and his wife's grave. The video claims Ron had the sarcophagus of Noah's wife exhumed and then it all mysteriously vanished without a trace leaving only a hole in the ground as his evidence. I defy anyone to come up with the name of the company that did the digging.

35:06 - 37:05 - Despite Ron Wyatt begging for validation on any channel that will air his nonsense, no reputable organization buys or supports this garbage.

Done.. Finally..


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