Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Kentucky Fried Commandments

I'm feeling much better now. Not just because another Ten Commandments monument was removed but that helps too.

I don't get why these people insist that we are living in a christian society. We really aren't.

Our government is based more off the Roman style of representative government. Political satirists back then even likened George Washington to a Roman Emperor. I believe there is even a statue of him in a toga somewhere. Regardless, as I remember it, the Roman Catholic church didn't appear in Ancient Rome until after the lead in the water pipes was making people nuts.

Then there are the Ten Commandments. What Christians believe gives them a cornered market in the ethics trade. The basis of law in American society. What incredible bullshit!

First of all, only three of the ten commandments are actual laws. Those being:
  • Thou shalt not steal
  • Thou shalt not kill
  • Thou shalt not commit adultery
Of those three, Adultery is only officially illegal in 26 out of the 50 states, and even then, most of the Adultery laws in these states haven't been enforced since 1945.

The other two aren't even original Christian ideals. People have been placing value upon and disregarding other people's lives and property LONG before the christian god was dreamt up by slaves looking for a political voice in Egypt.

As I said before, I just don't get where these religious nutjobs get off saying the USA is a christian society.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

ZMG's Guide to Online Dating

I've never been big on the bar scenes and I'm not huge on chance encounters, so I find myself applying to online dating services a lot. I find there is a lot more potential in these sites as it removes the physical aspect and gets down to what is really going to make the difference in a long term relationship: communication. Granted, the physical is important, but only so much so that you dont have to hold back last night's dinner every time you wake up next to this person.

Communication is essential in any relationship. You need to be able to express yourself effectively and efficiently in a variety of ways. This includes visual and vocal, verbal and non-verbal, physical, emotional, and yes, even sexual communication. In a way, sexual communication is just as important as expressing yourself physically or emotionally as it is a crossroads of the physical and the emotional. Communication also means listening effectively as well. In order to listen effectively, you need to incorporate all of your senses: hearing, sight, touch, taste and smell. Most importantly of all, when its time to listen, STFU and pay attention! If you care about the person you are communicating with, you will pay attention. Otherwise you are just wasting the individual's time and energy.

The nice thing about online relationships is that, since the physical is not as big a part of it, it is much easier to form an intellectual and emotional bond with the other individual. The problems lie completely within the anonymity of the medium in which you are communicating within. I'm not talking about the possiblity that the person you are talking to on the other side of the computer screen may be a serial killer. Personally, I feel if you are going to be worried about that on a regular basis, then you need to get offline because you are never going to meet anyone you meet online and you are just wasting people's time. I am talking about the fact that anonymity removes inhibition and you are more likely going to be yourself online. If you are dishonest, you are going to lie about your physical attributes. If you are honest, any relationship-based fights are going to be more intense and more likely to end in heartbreak. If you are inarticulate or lacking in the communication department, you are going to have problems understanding what people are telling you and they will have problems understanding you. If you are shallow, greedy, ignorant or rude, it will become apparent to everyone around you. Every ugly part of your personality will shine through whether you want to admit it exists or not.

So what can you do about it? The best thing you can do when confronted with your own inner ugliness is to face it, overcome it, learn from it and try to be a better person. Otherwise, you're just going to keep making the same mistakes over and over again and you will never find happiness. No one wants to be with someone who is ugly on the inside, no matter how cute they may appear on the outside.

So what if you aren't ugly on the inside and you dont want to deal with people who are ugly on the inside. How can you protect yourself? Well, all you can do is be careful, be honest and learn from past experiences. But for those of you who aren't as experienced as I am, allow me to list a few of the red flags I've accumulated over the years...
  • Old photos, no photos, limited physical description on the profile: As I said before, the physical is only so important just so that you don't have to hold your dinner back when you wake up next to them. But the physical is important and everyone has the right to be attracted to that which they are attracted to. People withholding this information are usually insecure about what they look like and so should you. I assume fat until proven fit.
  • Photos with obvious multiple persons cropped out with no explanation in the title: This is more of a cautionary flag, but it could mean they are stepping out on a significant other.
  • Number of kids matched with no income: Husband just walked out and has no other means to support themselves other than to latch onto some online sucker.
  • Looking for a generous person: This person either has no income or they think they entitled to a higher class of living and expects you to provide it.
  • Describes self as a Realist: This is just an all-purpose excuse for people to exhibit anti-social behavior and be rude.
  • Pornographic photos: The person on the other end is usually a spam artist looking for email addresses.
  • From Russia, Ghana or Nigeria: Various scam artists. Don't even bother. They have seperate agencies for mail-order brides. But, even then you need to be watchful.
  • Married, looking for discretion without explanation or lists unidentified marital status in profile: I've played the third wheel before. Very emotionally unfulfilling. Not recommended. Plus trust will always be a worry.
  • One word answers to questions: Usually means the person has a hard time expressing themselves because they don't know who they are yet.
  • Too much "l33t" speak and "2" many internet shortcuts: Indicates intellectual laziness and immaturity.
  • "My god comes first" or seeking a god-fearing individual: A jesus-freak. Can not understand why their last relationships don't think going to church or praying for hours on end isn't considered a good time. Needs one of these badly.

Monday, June 20, 2005

Faux News Hiding Behind the Troops Again

Why is it that the Republicans and Republican broadcast propaganda (read Fox News) constantly try to circumvent any and all claims made towards the lack of planning in the Iraq War, the Downing Street Memo and Guantanamo Bay by claiming that any attacks made on Republican policies are an attack on the US troops?

I've said this before. The US troops have no say as to whether or not they are stationed in the middle of a bogus war. They have no voice in the matter that Mad King George has never had an exit plan for Iraq. The moment a US citizen puts his or her name on the recruitment form, that person loses all choice and becomes a US resource to live and die at the politics of whatever politician is in charge.

But apparently, if we were to believe everything Faux News barfed up, the choices made by conservative politicians and conservative propaganda makers are secretly based on what the US troops want. Well if that was true, why aren't they getting better armor and more pay or, at the very least, a light at the end of the tunnel?

The only truth here is that Republicans will never own up to their own fuck-ups as long as Democrats expect them to do the right thing.

Liberals of this country strive for social excellence. The Conservatives strive for stagnation.

ZMG's Review of Batman Begins

This is an excellent movie, folks. It is an intelligent look at the experiences and the decisions made that turned Bruce Wayne from an angry teen into the Dark Knight of Gotham City. This movie is also better than the last three Batman movies put together. True, it uses two villains... which, in my opinion, is one of the main reasons why the Batman franchise sucked so badly after Tim Burton's masterpiece in 1989, but the storyline is actually intelligent enough to make sense of why these two villains would be working together.

There were a couple of minor plot holes, however. One, there is a scene where Batman is hanging from a high-rise train by a cable attached to the train. This train is also passing through several support towers where the train tracks are surrounded on all sides (left, right, top, bottom) by steel girders and other gothic support structures. The point is, if the cable was attached to the train and the train passed through one of these support towers, the cable hanging down would have been pulled up through the tower and Batman would have been crushed between the tower and the train. The second problem was Dr. Jonathan Crane's defeat at the hands of Rachel Dawes - Katie Holmes' character for those of you who also felt she added little to the storyline as well. This woman, after getting hit by a massive dose of the panic toxin, as was evidenced by her vision of the fire-breathing horse, was able to hit Scarecrow in the face with a tazer blast when before she could barely move on her own. I can toss aside the latter problem because she may still have had some of the anti-toxin swimming around in her system, but it still bugged me a little.

Katie Holmes' character offered nothing to the storyline except the standard "one movie only" love interest who finds out Batman's secret identity but will vanish without a trace by the beginning of the next film. Alas Katie Holmes didn't offer anything more to the role than the two girls who "went swimming" did to their respective roles.

One thing I will point out that I enjoyed is that the fight scenes are pushed to the background by dressing the villains in black as well as the Batman. This creates a visual confusion when the close combat fight scenes are occurring and pushes the audience to focus more on the storyline beyond the fight sequences. I mean, after all, we already know Batman is going to win the fight, so there's little point in overdramatizing what would otherwise be referred to as a power ranger fight sequence.

Highlights of the film
  • A hell of a lot of action. Warning: The action may be too much for those who suffer motion sickness. Seriously, if you can't handle moving camera shots, stay at home.
  • A dynamite Scarecrow played by Cillian Murphy
  • Even though we know Bruce Wayne's parents die, and this movie is about the traumatic effects of that event, they do a good job of not hovering around that single boring event.
  • A kick ass batmobile that the Hummer 2 only wishes it was.
  • A fantastic first go at being Batman straight out of Alien.
  • An extensive training montage that allowed people to experience what Bruce Wayne learned while training with Ra's Al Ghul.
  • No supervillain coming up with instant schematics to the batmobile.
  • No destroying the big green blender machine and having everything return to normal.
  • No stealing supervillain demises from cartoon episodes dealing with the same villains.
  • No retarded versions of highly intelligent comic book villains.
  • No awkward supervillain team-ups regardless of how well the roles were cast.
  • No hack ex-costume designer/directors lousing up the screen with rubber butt shots.
  • No blacklight effects.
  • No whiny, little bitch sidekicks
Will there be a new series of Batman movies based on this new spin on the urban mythology? I don't know. If they do, I hope they take a clue from the Spider-Man series and keep it one villain per movie. You'd think the studios would have wanted to have made more money by spreading the villains out among several movies and potentially having a better product.

Final Grade: A
A definite improvement over the last three in the series.

Sunday, June 19, 2005

A Breath of Polluted Air from Oxygen Network

This weekend is Father's Day weekend and if my sore, aching body allows me, I intend to show repect to my father by taking him to go see Batman Begins this afternoon. Unfortunately, there are some corporations that do not share the same respect male parental figures as I do.

Take Oxygen Network's line up this weekend, for example:

Saturday, June 18th @ 5:30 pm: Baby Boom: The story of a single mother making it on her own in Vermont.

Saturday, June 18th @ 8:00 pm: Hope Floats: A woman jilted on live television by her husband and the father of her child goes back home. Replayed @ 10 pm and again on June 19th @ 8:00 pm.

Sunday, June 19th @ 2:00 pm: Cherry: A woman jilted at the altar swears off men until she wants a baby at which time she decides to treat potential fathers like shake-n-bake pans by putting an ad out in the paper.

Sunday, June 19th @ 4:00 pm: Woman on Top: A controlling woman leaves her husband to find happiness on her own in the cooking business.

So this is it? This is the best of what this company has to offer for Father's day? Pretty trashy, if you ask me.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

No More Burning American Flags

Well the Bush Klan is trying to get a law passed so that the American Flag cannot be desecrated by protestors anymore.

Fine, since it will be illegal to burn the Stars and Stripes, the officially recognized symbol of the United States, then it should be perfectly legal to burn the Stars and Bars.

Light 'em up boys. Smoke 'em if you got 'em.

Monday, June 13, 2005

NOT GUILTY!?!?!?!?!!!

Holy Murphy McJesus!!!

They found that lunatic Jackson not guilty on all charges. I thought for sure he was going to prison.
Well I guess the lesson from all this is: if you're going to commit a crime, make sure the only people who know about it have crappy records and are thus completely untrustworthy.

Its worked for all the little gray aliens that snactch rednecks for all their anal probing experiments.

Democracy, My Black Ass!!.. Part 2

Democracy in Africa.. Democracy in Africa. I couldn't help notice how many times Bush used the word Democracy in his speech today after meeting with five of Africa's leaders. I also noticed that he stated that America was doing its part to bring DEMOCRACY to Africa.

Y'know, I have to give Bush a little credit for trying to reach out to Democrats, but its obvious he's doing it with the least amount of effort possible. First, he tried redefining Iraq's Theocratic government as a Democracy when it isn't. You can shave a dog, paint it orange and call it a traffic cone until you're blue in the face, but it ain't going to magically transform into a traffic cone. Second, Africa does not need America's help in establishing Democratic Parties.

In alphabetical order:

Botswana: President Festus G. MOGAE is already a member of the Botswana Democratic Party

Ghana: The government in Ghana is already a Constitutional Democracy

Mozambique: The main political pressure groups are Institute for Peace and Democracy; Etica; Movement for Peace and Citizenship; Mozambican League of Human Rights; and Human Rights and Development

Namibia: The recognized political parties are as follows: The Congress of Democrats; the Democratic Turnhalle Alliance of Namibia; the Monitor Action Group; the South West Africa People's Organization; and the United Democratic Front

Niger: the current political parties of this region are the Alliance for Democracy and Progress; the Democratic Rally of the People-Jama'a; the Democratic and Social Convention-Rahama; the National Movement for a Developing Society-Nassara; the Nigerien Alliance for Democracy and Social Progress; the Nigerien Party for Democracy and Socialism-Tarayya; the Party for Socialism and Democracy in Niger; the Rally for Social Democracy; and the Union of Democratic Patriots and Progressives

Sorry Charlie. You can't claim a victory by bringing and ensuring Democracy in these nations when there already is Democracy there.

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Rhyming Orange

I have all these signs that are purple
They all are push but once were pull
I bought these rings made of silver
For my girl whom I would kill fer
The clouds during a sunset shined a bright orange
I must now remember to oil that rusty door hinge

That wasn't so tough.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Proud to Hate America

I hear this crap all the time. Libs hate America. Libs hate family. Libs hate religion.

Well guess what? In order for you to want to change something for the better you have to, at least, hate the current form of that thing a little bit. If you already love it, then there's no point in changing it, now is there?

So what are conservatives really saying when they spew this uneducated crap? Well first you have to understand what a conservative is. So let's take a look see at your typical everyday political conservative.

A Conservative will judge people based on the political tenents of a supernatural boogeyman and then complain that they are unfairly stereotyped by liberals.

A Conservative will demonize Bill Clinton for lying about a blowjob and line up to lick Mad King George's boots when he can't be man enough to admit he screwed up in Iraq and sent thousands of living human beings to die on a false charge.

A Conservative will oppose gay-marriage and go on and on about the sanctity of marriage even though the average "sacred" straight marriage currently lasts about 7 years.

A Conservative will oppose abortions but will not allow people to discuss masturbation in school or use morning after pills to keep people from getting pregnant.

A Conservative will go on and on about family values but will applaud political reforms that limit and cut off welfare, food stamps, day care, healthcare andeducation.

A Conservative will oppose stem cell research even though the embryonic cells used are no more developed than those made and discarded by In Vitro Fertilization clinics around the country.

A Conservative will favor reductions in taxes but will never hear you when you tell them that sending a person to prison for life costs the taxpayers less than sentencing them to death.

A Conservative will claim that the south fought for independence during the civil war so that the position of states' courts could be held higher than the position of national courts, even though the whole Terri Schiavo case showed just how much states' rights meant to them.

A Conservative will adamantly hate Marxist Communism but stand idly by while Mad King George and the Bush Klan allow the pay gaps between the upper class (elite) and the middle class (bourgeois) and eliminate benefits for the middle class so they match those of the lower class (proletariat).

A Conservative will oppose Socialist ideals that bind and constrict capitalism but will fight against corporations sending jobs to India and whine profusely when people buy merchandise that was not made in America.

A Conservative will never admit when they are wrong. An educated individual is someone who learns from their mistakes. It is therefore possible to conclude that Conservatives are incapable of learning. This may explain why a Conservative will disregard what science tells them is true because they believe their invisible boogeyman told them otherwise.

So what is a Conservative? A Conservative is an individual who willingly relinquishes character and honor in return for personal comfort and convenience. If it takes too much effort or creates a possible conflict in their personal religious philosophies, they will most likely ignore it. If it cuts into their financial profits, they will oppose it vehemently even if it does oppose their personal beliefs.

So what is a Conservative really saying when they spout off "Liberals Hate America" at the top of their lungs? Here's an accurate translation for you:

Don't change America. Don't force us to accept everyone equally because that might cut into my paycheck and, in turn, threaten my personal comfort levels. Its also much more convenient to hate people who are different than to take the time to understand them. Don't show us that our religious philosophies are wrong... again. I am perfectly comfortable believing in what I believe in right now and it would be too inconvenient for us to admit we were wrong and have to change our opinions.

Well I, for one, am going to continue to hate parts of America and I am going to continue to strive to change it for the better.

One more thing. If Conservatives didn't also hate America, then why are they so adamant about changing the abortion laws?

Saturday, June 04, 2005

Writing Computer Viruses: Not Free Speech

Today I found this article at Yahoo news about some losers who find it necessary to show to the world just how much sex they're not getting on a daily basis by hacking and destroying other people's computers... just because they can.

Personally, I relate these people to the perverts in Europe who will whip out their dicks and rub them up against other people in crowded areas... just because they can. Both of these people commit detestable and morally vulgar acts upon random strangers just to get their jollies. Its disgusting. And quite frankly, creating a piece of destructive computer code is no more free speech than communicating your deepest desires to some stranger through phallic contact.

A blurb of speech or a written text or a painting is an inert object. When you pick up a pencil and write 'Oh Captain, My Captain' on a piece of 20# white Xerox paper, you can set it on the table and it will not do anything. It is only through the interpretations and actions of others who later pick it up, look at it and assign a meaning to it and act accordingly does it have a life of its own. In addition, in a free society, we have the right to not look at any piece of text we do not wish to. We can simply walk away from that inert object and do something else and we can only do something about it after someone else has interpreted it and acted accordingly by that piece of text.

Computer code, on the other hand, does not follow this pattern. Once a piece of code is entered into a computer, it has a purpose, an action and a life of its own and can activate itself without the knowledge of another person in its blast radius. A computer virus is a malignant piece of self-activating code that goes through and performs destructive and malicious acts without needing anyone or allowing anyone the conscious choice to pick it up and assign a meaning to it. As such, a hacker can not claim that a virus is free speech any more than a bomb maker could claim that the individual parts and pieces of his explosive device are pieces of sculpture.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Terror Level Alert: Remember Me?

Remember this old system? This is the rainbow colored system that Republicans used during the election last year to scare morons into submission whenever Mad King George started to slip in the polls. Another absurd allegation, I'm sure.

Well now its been dusted off and according to Faux News it has been raised to Elevated in the first time in about nine months. Conveniently, this elevation comes right after a Democrat called the system useless and poorly defined. What an amazing coincidence.

Why is it that the conscum of this country expect the rational minds to just accept everything as they accept their political and religious philosophies - without question?

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