Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Proud to Hate America

I hear this crap all the time. Libs hate America. Libs hate family. Libs hate religion.

Well guess what? In order for you to want to change something for the better you have to, at least, hate the current form of that thing a little bit. If you already love it, then there's no point in changing it, now is there?

So what are conservatives really saying when they spew this uneducated crap? Well first you have to understand what a conservative is. So let's take a look see at your typical everyday political conservative.

A Conservative will judge people based on the political tenents of a supernatural boogeyman and then complain that they are unfairly stereotyped by liberals.

A Conservative will demonize Bill Clinton for lying about a blowjob and line up to lick Mad King George's boots when he can't be man enough to admit he screwed up in Iraq and sent thousands of living human beings to die on a false charge.

A Conservative will oppose gay-marriage and go on and on about the sanctity of marriage even though the average "sacred" straight marriage currently lasts about 7 years.

A Conservative will oppose abortions but will not allow people to discuss masturbation in school or use morning after pills to keep people from getting pregnant.

A Conservative will go on and on about family values but will applaud political reforms that limit and cut off welfare, food stamps, day care, healthcare andeducation.

A Conservative will oppose stem cell research even though the embryonic cells used are no more developed than those made and discarded by In Vitro Fertilization clinics around the country.

A Conservative will favor reductions in taxes but will never hear you when you tell them that sending a person to prison for life costs the taxpayers less than sentencing them to death.

A Conservative will claim that the south fought for independence during the civil war so that the position of states' courts could be held higher than the position of national courts, even though the whole Terri Schiavo case showed just how much states' rights meant to them.

A Conservative will adamantly hate Marxist Communism but stand idly by while Mad King George and the Bush Klan allow the pay gaps between the upper class (elite) and the middle class (bourgeois) and eliminate benefits for the middle class so they match those of the lower class (proletariat).

A Conservative will oppose Socialist ideals that bind and constrict capitalism but will fight against corporations sending jobs to India and whine profusely when people buy merchandise that was not made in America.

A Conservative will never admit when they are wrong. An educated individual is someone who learns from their mistakes. It is therefore possible to conclude that Conservatives are incapable of learning. This may explain why a Conservative will disregard what science tells them is true because they believe their invisible boogeyman told them otherwise.

So what is a Conservative? A Conservative is an individual who willingly relinquishes character and honor in return for personal comfort and convenience. If it takes too much effort or creates a possible conflict in their personal religious philosophies, they will most likely ignore it. If it cuts into their financial profits, they will oppose it vehemently even if it does oppose their personal beliefs.

So what is a Conservative really saying when they spout off "Liberals Hate America" at the top of their lungs? Here's an accurate translation for you:

Don't change America. Don't force us to accept everyone equally because that might cut into my paycheck and, in turn, threaten my personal comfort levels. Its also much more convenient to hate people who are different than to take the time to understand them. Don't show us that our religious philosophies are wrong... again. I am perfectly comfortable believing in what I believe in right now and it would be too inconvenient for us to admit we were wrong and have to change our opinions.

Well I, for one, am going to continue to hate parts of America and I am going to continue to strive to change it for the better.

One more thing. If Conservatives didn't also hate America, then why are they so adamant about changing the abortion laws?

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