Rodney Dangerfield, one of the greatest stand-up comics of all time, has died today. No words can truly express the loss this means to the entertainment industry. So instead, I will merely use the words of the great legend himself:
"And just remember, the best thing about kids... is making them!" - Back to School
"When I was born the doctor slapped my mother"
"I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the west."
"I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap."
"I came from a real tough neighborhood. In the local restaurant I sat down and had broken leg of lamb."
"I had a lot of pimples too. One day I fell asleep in the library. I woke up and a blind man was reading my face."
"I went to a freak show and they let me in for nothing."
"I once went out with this girl, she was no bargain either, she showed up with pigtails under her arms."
"Bring us a pitcher of beer every seven minutes until someone passes out, then bring one every ten minutes." - Back to School
"I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me."
"My wife has to be the worst cook. In my house, we pray after we eat."
"She was so fat that her bathtub has stretch marks."
"She was so ugly that when two men broke into her apartment and she yelled 'rape', they yelled 'No'."
"What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper 4 times - 3 while I was reading it."
"Siskel and Ebert caught my show. They gave me one finger up." - Meet Wally Sparks
"Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire."
"Last week I was walking by a cemetery, two guys came after me with shovels. It was all about money."
"Even in hell I get no respect." - Little Nicky
"Hey everybody, we're all gonna get laid!" - Caddyshack
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