Concrete Enema

Ugh. I hate essay tests. I just cant stand them. This past week I've had to put everything on hold just so I could study for this massive concrete enema (hard to pass) of an mid-term exam.

I dont think too much of this teacher either. Let me explain how this guys works.

The essay exams are to be graded competitively, since he believes we are forced to be competitive in the workplace. This, to an extent, I can see the potential of. However it appears to be an overly simplistic response to standardized testing.

Before the exam we are to write out a summary of an entire class session and post it online for all the students to read and study from. If we are to be graded competitively on the exams, doesn't it seem a bit contradictary that we would share our notes with other students in the same class?

Also the exams are closed book and closed notes. This is also contradictary to his workplace theory since when one is in the workforce and one goes to a meeting or to a presentation, one is usually expected to bring notes or texts to draw information from when neccesary.

Now imagine this coming from a guy who is a dead ringer for Clayton from Benson.

So anyway, despite blanking on the first part of the exam and writing more than I ever have before on any essay test in my entire life, I get a 93%. Not too bad. My friend on the other hand, didn't study any of the material covered on the first part of the exam and BS'ed her way into a 47/50 on that section and then got a perfect 50 on the second part. But she's got a degree in English already so she can BS with the best of them.

And people wonder why there is so much violence in schools today.

Speaking of violence, I wanted to talk a bit about the rise of violence in schools today. Beautiful segue, dontcha think? When I was growing up I was a hyperactive kid that the school couldn't control. So instead of doing something intelligent like counselling me, they decided to go for the easiest route available to get me into status quo with the least amount of work. They stuck me on Lithium, which gave me a three-year gap in my memory and a severe lack of social skills. This, in turn, made me a social oucast and an easy target for verbal assaults from any asshole walking around. And you know how it goes, as the verbal assaults and the pranks progress, your parents can't do squat about it. All the teachers couldn't care less about the students so they wont get involved other than to give that tired old "dont let it bother you" bullshit. And talking to the bullies themselves doesn't do shit.

So what do you do when everything else fails miserably? You do one of two things. You either sit there and take your daily poundings or you take the law into your own hands and you kick some ass. Mind you, I wasn't getting teased nearly enough to bring a shotgun to school, but I would be lying if I wasn't thinking about it from time to time. So whenever I hear about some kid going off and slinging lead around the schoolyards. At home I am secretly cheering his demented ass on. YOU RAH RAH!!

Then afterwards, if they don't kill themselves, the trials for these juveniles are always so funny. If you listen to these things you almost start to wonder who the real psychos are in this area of the country. First of all, you have all the clique kids running around and holding onto each other for support and weeping on the evening news as if they were saying "We teased him mercilessly, but we never expected him to push back!" Then the parents of these clique kids, who breed their children to torment everyone who's different they are, go on the news and blame the school board and the parents of the actions of the psycho-tot. Next they bring in psychiatrists to counsel the clique kids and tell them "It's ok. You're not to blame for this. You don't have to change who you are. Now go back out and torment some other kid until HE brings a shotgun to homeroom and maybe, if you survive THAT encounter, I can tell you all this bullshit again." Then, depending on how influencial the victim's parents are, the kid will most likely be tried as an adult, and eventually sentenced to concurrent sentences of 25 years each and the village that bred this child to become the sociopath he is today gets off with barely a slap on the wrist.

I saw this one sentencing hearing that made me roll on the floor. This kid had shot up a couple students in his school and he wasn't crying in court so I'm assuming he got off a lucky shot at at least one of his tormenters. The clique kids were lining up saying the usual stupid shit. We need less violence in movies. This is all Marylin Manson's fault. You've ruined our prom. Blah Blah Blah. Then the prinicipal showed up. This was a hilarious speech. She went on for like 20 minutes about how this kid had absolutely no reason to do this. She claimed no one picked on him... no one tormented him.. and everyone in his school was his best friend in the whole wide world. I almost died laughing at how stupid this speech was. First of all this kid was short, fat and wore glasses. Genetics might as well have made a bullseye shaped birthmark on his face for all the grief this kid was going to get in school and this principal was trying to sell the notion that this school was somehow the only school in the entire fucking world where no one torments anyone else? LMAO! Nixon, Mad King George, Ann Coulter and Bill O'Reilly combined couldn't sell that much bullshit, lady!

What a funny world we live in. This stuff just writes itself.