George W. Bu**sh**, you retarded dumbfuck. Just when I thought you couldn't get any stupider, you pull something out of your ass that would make Dan Quayle blush out of embarassment.
"The United States is a country that promotes freedom around the world. When there's accusations made about certain actions by our people, they're fully investigated in a transparent way. It's just an absurd allegation." -Yahoo News
You said this today in retalliation to those claims made against you about the Guantanamo Bay detention area being a modern day gulag.
Well guess what, dipshit? The allegation that Iraq had Weapons of Mass Destrcution was also an absurd allegation that was investigated in a highly transparent and suspicious manner. You've no business claiming allegations made against your policies are absurd when you can't even justify your own actions that started this mess.
Sit down and take your damn medicine, you retarded asshole. You're no president of mine.
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Monday, May 30, 2005
Memorial Day Not-So-Standard Blog Entry
Now your typical blogger is gonna sit up today, put on their red, white and blue pajammas and go on and on and on about what Memorial Day means and how everyone should kiss a man's ass just because they served in the military. Personally, I feel its a bunch of shit.
Today is one of three days we set aside to honor people who have died for other people's political systems. The other two are Veteran's Day and Armed Forces Day. These days are set aside by the government so that the retail stores can offer minor sales while corporate America somehow gets the recognition and the day off. Meanwhile, there are all sorts of televised parades and ceremonies put on to try and convince the people that soldiers are here to protect your freedoms and if it weren't for them being here at this exact moment, the ENEMY will attack you in your sleep, rape your wife and murder your children, eat your dog and if you live in a red state, take your guns away. Well, sorry Charlie. No one is coming to get you in your sleep. Chances are, you're not important enough. Besides, Al Qaeda already got what it wanted from us.
I know what you're thinking. The military is protecting us as they are currently taking out "Major Al-Qaeda Operatives" as we speak. Well what the hell does that mean? As if it takes a major college degree to tell religious zealots where to point their guns. This is no victory. This is a spin job to make the more patriotic imbeciles feel like the brains behind the armed forces aren't stroking out.
Its all crap people. The government doesn't give a rat's ass about our soldiers. Once a man puts his John Hancock on the slip of paper, after being ruthlessly lied to by his recruiter, that person loses all identity and becomes a national resource to be used or abused by the whim of some snivelling politician who has absolutely no reason to make good on the promises made by said recruiter. In fact, the politician has more to gain if a soldier does not make it back from his tour of duty alive. Then the solider has made the ultimate sacrifice for the poitician's politics and they have a shiny new footnote to add on their next re-election speech. Let's face it, its a lot easier on the taxpayers too if a soldier dies since its a lot cheaper for the government to chisel a soldier's name on a slab of granite than it is to pay for their medical bills should they come home in a semi-salvageable state.
So with deepest regret, I cannot make the standard "I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy" speech today because I choose not to honor those who serve the Armed forces. Instead, I choose to pity them.
At the very least we don't have to exchange cards with family members we don't see that often - with good reason - expressing forced and predetermined emotional states.
Today is one of three days we set aside to honor people who have died for other people's political systems. The other two are Veteran's Day and Armed Forces Day. These days are set aside by the government so that the retail stores can offer minor sales while corporate America somehow gets the recognition and the day off. Meanwhile, there are all sorts of televised parades and ceremonies put on to try and convince the people that soldiers are here to protect your freedoms and if it weren't for them being here at this exact moment, the ENEMY will attack you in your sleep, rape your wife and murder your children, eat your dog and if you live in a red state, take your guns away. Well, sorry Charlie. No one is coming to get you in your sleep. Chances are, you're not important enough. Besides, Al Qaeda already got what it wanted from us.
I know what you're thinking. The military is protecting us as they are currently taking out "Major Al-Qaeda Operatives" as we speak. Well what the hell does that mean? As if it takes a major college degree to tell religious zealots where to point their guns. This is no victory. This is a spin job to make the more patriotic imbeciles feel like the brains behind the armed forces aren't stroking out.
Its all crap people. The government doesn't give a rat's ass about our soldiers. Once a man puts his John Hancock on the slip of paper, after being ruthlessly lied to by his recruiter, that person loses all identity and becomes a national resource to be used or abused by the whim of some snivelling politician who has absolutely no reason to make good on the promises made by said recruiter. In fact, the politician has more to gain if a soldier does not make it back from his tour of duty alive. Then the solider has made the ultimate sacrifice for the poitician's politics and they have a shiny new footnote to add on their next re-election speech. Let's face it, its a lot easier on the taxpayers too if a soldier dies since its a lot cheaper for the government to chisel a soldier's name on a slab of granite than it is to pay for their medical bills should they come home in a semi-salvageable state.
So with deepest regret, I cannot make the standard "I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy" speech today because I choose not to honor those who serve the Armed forces. Instead, I choose to pity them.
At the very least we don't have to exchange cards with family members we don't see that often - with good reason - expressing forced and predetermined emotional states.
Monday, May 23, 2005
Democracy, My Black Ass!!
I am getting sick and tired of hearing about the Bush Klan talking about Democracy in Iraq. Democracy in Iraq. Bullshit. This is not a democracy, people. They're only labelling it as a democracy to keep Democrats from wanting certain members of the Mad King George and the Bush Klan in prison for this fiasco. Because if they do pursue this, the Republicans get to label the Democrats as being against Democracy.
But I can understand why its fooling people. It basically stems from a general confusion theists have concerning the difference between rational political philosophies and personal religious philosophies. They are both philosophies. They both have their own definitions of good and evil. The difference lies in that religious philosophies, especially those in the middle east, deal with supernatural boogeymen, who these people believe influence their daily lives. Republicans have the same issues and from their actions, its pretty obvious they dont know the difference either. Regardless, the fact remains that the only political philosophies in Iraq are based in religious philosophies.
This means that this government in Iraq is not a Democracy. Its a Theocracy. As such it is only a matter of time before it falls apart due to religious conflict - the only thing the middle east is known for these days.
But I can understand why its fooling people. It basically stems from a general confusion theists have concerning the difference between rational political philosophies and personal religious philosophies. They are both philosophies. They both have their own definitions of good and evil. The difference lies in that religious philosophies, especially those in the middle east, deal with supernatural boogeymen, who these people believe influence their daily lives. Republicans have the same issues and from their actions, its pretty obvious they dont know the difference either. Regardless, the fact remains that the only political philosophies in Iraq are based in religious philosophies.
This means that this government in Iraq is not a Democracy. Its a Theocracy. As such it is only a matter of time before it falls apart due to religious conflict - the only thing the middle east is known for these days.
Thursday, May 19, 2005
Today's Hypocrisy and Defamation
I am for freedom of religion and against all maneuvres to bring about a legal ascendancy of one sect over another. -Thomas Jefferson, letter to Elbridge Gerry, 1799
Monday, May 16, 2005
The Dehumanization of Job Hunting
I hate looking for jobs. I hate it. I hate the whole lousy repulsive retarded process with every fiber of my being.
I HAAAAAAAATE IT!
I mean, could there possibly be a more dehumanizing ego-driven process in today's civilized society? Think about it. First you read the ad which usually reads like a requistion form for a piece of furniture. The applicant must be 3 ft wide, 5 ft long, 4 ft high with four drawers on each side, ivory handles and a secret compartment for holding pens and assorted stress toys. Then comes the writing of the cover letter, or as I like to call it, the formal request to take a turn at sucking the CEO's dick. Then you update your resume which explans to the CEO in which positions you want to be placed in before, while and after sucking his dick. The resume also has a list of all the dicks you've sucked previously which in turn will tease the CEO into thinking you suck dick well. So you put the formal dick sucking request and the sick sucking positions and the list of dicks you've sucked previously and send it in a freshly licked envelope to the corporate offices of Sukma D, Inc. 954 Shlong Ave Hardwood, CA nine-oh-too-up-yours.
You would think that a man getting a formal request to suck his dick would be impressed enough to open and read your request first hand. Nooooo. You don't deserve that honor yet. First your dick sucking request must go to the head of dick sucking resources. This person with years of experience in placing the proper dick suckers in the proper dick sucking positions will decide if your request for dick sucking is worthy of an interview to see how well you can suck dick.
So you get an interview, not with the head dick, but with a lesser dick, who may have been a dick sucking pee-on like you at one time. This is when you get to show off how well you can suck dick. I dare say that at this time you will need to suck dick harder and better than you will while you are sucking your CEO's dick. Can't suck dick great all the time you know. Gotta pace yourself. Now if the process so far hasn't dehumanized you enough, the next question this fuckface asks will drop your ass down a few notches guaranteed...
"Why do you want to work for this company?"
What kind of egomaniacal asshole asks this kind of question? Imagine, to not be satisfied enough with your corporate success with your penthouse style offices, your rave reviews from your stockholders, or even the personalized monogrammed napkins in the corporate lunchroom that you have to ask some no name fresh out of college to stroke your own ego??? Now, of course the honest answer to this would be...
"Because I don't want to starve to death while huddled under a blanket made of newpapers under a bridge, you corporate dipshit."
But you can't say that. It ruins the mood of the whole dick sucking experience. So you take a deep breath, swallow hard and pretend that you would actually enjoy sucking this and every other dick your CEO wants your to suck for the rest of your life even if you got a chance later on down the road to never have to suck dick again. Afterwards you have to send the coporation a thank you note for giving you the time to come in and suck their dicks.
I know. The whole process leaves a bad taste in my mouth too.
So then you finally get the job. Then the real dehumanizing begins. Then you are compressed and filed away. You are turned into a social security number, an address, a corporate ID, a telephone number, a fax number, a pager number, an office number, a floor number. You are reduced from a living breathing human being into an extended number, filed neatly away behind four pseudo cubicle walls with only a glory hole so that you can suck the dick of anyone who happens to walk by. And you will stay that way for the rest of your life unless you get lucky and someone feels you need to file you away in larger place where you get a couple of your digits changed and you get to suck bigger dicks through a bigger glory hole and then maybe get your own dick sucked once in a while. Yuck.
Stick that in your graduation speech and smoke it.
I HAAAAAAAATE IT!
I mean, could there possibly be a more dehumanizing ego-driven process in today's civilized society? Think about it. First you read the ad which usually reads like a requistion form for a piece of furniture. The applicant must be 3 ft wide, 5 ft long, 4 ft high with four drawers on each side, ivory handles and a secret compartment for holding pens and assorted stress toys. Then comes the writing of the cover letter, or as I like to call it, the formal request to take a turn at sucking the CEO's dick. Then you update your resume which explans to the CEO in which positions you want to be placed in before, while and after sucking his dick. The resume also has a list of all the dicks you've sucked previously which in turn will tease the CEO into thinking you suck dick well. So you put the formal dick sucking request and the sick sucking positions and the list of dicks you've sucked previously and send it in a freshly licked envelope to the corporate offices of Sukma D, Inc. 954 Shlong Ave Hardwood, CA nine-oh-too-up-yours.
You would think that a man getting a formal request to suck his dick would be impressed enough to open and read your request first hand. Nooooo. You don't deserve that honor yet. First your dick sucking request must go to the head of dick sucking resources. This person with years of experience in placing the proper dick suckers in the proper dick sucking positions will decide if your request for dick sucking is worthy of an interview to see how well you can suck dick.
So you get an interview, not with the head dick, but with a lesser dick, who may have been a dick sucking pee-on like you at one time. This is when you get to show off how well you can suck dick. I dare say that at this time you will need to suck dick harder and better than you will while you are sucking your CEO's dick. Can't suck dick great all the time you know. Gotta pace yourself. Now if the process so far hasn't dehumanized you enough, the next question this fuckface asks will drop your ass down a few notches guaranteed...
"Why do you want to work for this company?"
What kind of egomaniacal asshole asks this kind of question? Imagine, to not be satisfied enough with your corporate success with your penthouse style offices, your rave reviews from your stockholders, or even the personalized monogrammed napkins in the corporate lunchroom that you have to ask some no name fresh out of college to stroke your own ego??? Now, of course the honest answer to this would be...
"Because I don't want to starve to death while huddled under a blanket made of newpapers under a bridge, you corporate dipshit."
But you can't say that. It ruins the mood of the whole dick sucking experience. So you take a deep breath, swallow hard and pretend that you would actually enjoy sucking this and every other dick your CEO wants your to suck for the rest of your life even if you got a chance later on down the road to never have to suck dick again. Afterwards you have to send the coporation a thank you note for giving you the time to come in and suck their dicks.
I know. The whole process leaves a bad taste in my mouth too.
So then you finally get the job. Then the real dehumanizing begins. Then you are compressed and filed away. You are turned into a social security number, an address, a corporate ID, a telephone number, a fax number, a pager number, an office number, a floor number. You are reduced from a living breathing human being into an extended number, filed neatly away behind four pseudo cubicle walls with only a glory hole so that you can suck the dick of anyone who happens to walk by. And you will stay that way for the rest of your life unless you get lucky and someone feels you need to file you away in larger place where you get a couple of your digits changed and you get to suck bigger dicks through a bigger glory hole and then maybe get your own dick sucked once in a while. Yuck.
Stick that in your graduation speech and smoke it.
Monday, May 09, 2005
ZMG's Review of a Dynamite Wedding Reception
Wow, what a bash. Makes me wish my aunt had given birth to triplets. That side of the family knows how to throw a party.
I have twin cousins. Cousin A got married last year to a real sparkplug. Cousin B, who got married this past Saturday - to a truly kind and giving woman - was the best man at cousin A's wedding. During cousin A's wedding, cousin B fainted about 2 minutes before they asked for the ring. So, naturally, the running gag this past weekend was whether or not cousin B was going to make it all the way through. Fortunately it wasn't nearly as beastly hot as it was then and the ceremony wasn't nearly as long so he made through with relative ease.
The ceremony was held in a huge church with corinthian columns and the requisite stain glass windows. There was also a baptismal fountain that looked like a marble hot tub right in the middle of the aisle so that made a few people chuckle. There was also this huge metal abstract sculpture hanging over the middle of the church. It was a large crown of thorns thaty looked like oversized barbed wire with a slanted stake and a withered jesus hanging in the middle of the whole mess. It expressed pain and anguish. Perfect for the beginning of a marriage.
And the ceremony went on without a hitch. My father, for some reason, thought I was going to stand up and start attacking the catholic religion right there in the middle of the vows - go figure. The priest did his basic salesman spiel. God made this union possible. God made their love possible. God made them friends. God was even there they were conceived in their respective wombs... Y'know something? God's a pervert. The priest even said there is proof that God exists because of my cousin and his wife to be was sitting there. Well, yes they were sitting there, but that hardly means there was supernatural boogeyman in the bedrooms with each parents as they were bumping their respective uglies some 29 years ago. Then he said something that really made me laugh on the inside. He said that they had to work out their problems and arguements on their own as they arise... and I was sitting there, thinking to myself.. well where the hell is God going to be then? He was there for the conception, the friendship, the love, the commitment, the vows.. but apparently he's out to lunch once the warranty comes into question? Wow. Thats just too funny.
After the ceremony we went to the Pfister hotel, which is your basic overpriced, overdone place with nothing special when it comes to the basic service your every day roadside motel gives for one-fourth of the nightly rate. Seriously, I could have gotten a more comfortable night's sleep on a table saw than that crummy fold out. Ugh.
The reception was fantastic however. Great band. Great music. Good food (my steak had a little too much gristle for it to be considered great). Soda, beer and wine were free but the mixed drinks were costly. Where does any bar get the nerve to charge $9 for a White Russian that poorly mixed, I will never know. Applebee's does a better job for half the price. I even got out onto the dance floor a few times. Hey, at least I dance with some rhythm and am not a total embarassment to my race. Cousin B dances like he learned how from Popular Mechanics. My brother, on the other hand, is getting heavily smashed and looks more and more like John Travolta every moment he's out on the floor. I don't tell him though, he's already got a huge ego as is. The bride is very very kind to me and tried to hook me up with a couple of her hottie friends who, naturally, want nothing to do with me. Which is, quite honestly, fine with me. If they are so insecure about what people look like on the outside, I can't imagine the kind of quality parenting these people could provide should they ever have a child that doesn't look like a movie star. So, in my opinion, a relationship with one of these girls would be laughable at best.
The best part of the evening came after the band stopped playing. Now, my brother has a little ritual that extends from the weddings he attended where one of his hockey team buddies was getting hitched. He and his buddies would gather around and sing The Gambler a cappella. So after the band stops playing, on center stage, there is my brother, cousins A and B, and myself, stomping the stage in rhythm - which could give out at any time - as we are singing out The Gambler as well as any four drunken fools could to the entire wedding party. It was fantastic.
Great party.
I have twin cousins. Cousin A got married last year to a real sparkplug. Cousin B, who got married this past Saturday - to a truly kind and giving woman - was the best man at cousin A's wedding. During cousin A's wedding, cousin B fainted about 2 minutes before they asked for the ring. So, naturally, the running gag this past weekend was whether or not cousin B was going to make it all the way through. Fortunately it wasn't nearly as beastly hot as it was then and the ceremony wasn't nearly as long so he made through with relative ease.
The ceremony was held in a huge church with corinthian columns and the requisite stain glass windows. There was also a baptismal fountain that looked like a marble hot tub right in the middle of the aisle so that made a few people chuckle. There was also this huge metal abstract sculpture hanging over the middle of the church. It was a large crown of thorns thaty looked like oversized barbed wire with a slanted stake and a withered jesus hanging in the middle of the whole mess. It expressed pain and anguish. Perfect for the beginning of a marriage.
And the ceremony went on without a hitch. My father, for some reason, thought I was going to stand up and start attacking the catholic religion right there in the middle of the vows - go figure. The priest did his basic salesman spiel. God made this union possible. God made their love possible. God made them friends. God was even there they were conceived in their respective wombs... Y'know something? God's a pervert. The priest even said there is proof that God exists because of my cousin and his wife to be was sitting there. Well, yes they were sitting there, but that hardly means there was supernatural boogeyman in the bedrooms with each parents as they were bumping their respective uglies some 29 years ago. Then he said something that really made me laugh on the inside. He said that they had to work out their problems and arguements on their own as they arise... and I was sitting there, thinking to myself.. well where the hell is God going to be then? He was there for the conception, the friendship, the love, the commitment, the vows.. but apparently he's out to lunch once the warranty comes into question? Wow. Thats just too funny.
After the ceremony we went to the Pfister hotel, which is your basic overpriced, overdone place with nothing special when it comes to the basic service your every day roadside motel gives for one-fourth of the nightly rate. Seriously, I could have gotten a more comfortable night's sleep on a table saw than that crummy fold out. Ugh.
The reception was fantastic however. Great band. Great music. Good food (my steak had a little too much gristle for it to be considered great). Soda, beer and wine were free but the mixed drinks were costly. Where does any bar get the nerve to charge $9 for a White Russian that poorly mixed, I will never know. Applebee's does a better job for half the price. I even got out onto the dance floor a few times. Hey, at least I dance with some rhythm and am not a total embarassment to my race. Cousin B dances like he learned how from Popular Mechanics. My brother, on the other hand, is getting heavily smashed and looks more and more like John Travolta every moment he's out on the floor. I don't tell him though, he's already got a huge ego as is. The bride is very very kind to me and tried to hook me up with a couple of her hottie friends who, naturally, want nothing to do with me. Which is, quite honestly, fine with me. If they are so insecure about what people look like on the outside, I can't imagine the kind of quality parenting these people could provide should they ever have a child that doesn't look like a movie star. So, in my opinion, a relationship with one of these girls would be laughable at best.
The best part of the evening came after the band stopped playing. Now, my brother has a little ritual that extends from the weddings he attended where one of his hockey team buddies was getting hitched. He and his buddies would gather around and sing The Gambler a cappella. So after the band stops playing, on center stage, there is my brother, cousins A and B, and myself, stomping the stage in rhythm - which could give out at any time - as we are singing out The Gambler as well as any four drunken fools could to the entire wedding party. It was fantastic.
Great party.
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
The Jennifer Wilbanks Scandal
SCANDAL!! SCANDAL!! SCANDAL!!
Bullshit. This woman has done nothing wrong. All she did was leave town for the few days and not tell anyone. And unless someone forgot to tell me that we are living in 1950's Soviet Union, I still believe that's acceptable behavior for anyone over the age of 18. The same thing goes for that college student, Audrey Seiler, who pulled the same thing one year ago. They are after all adults. They are of legal age. They have the right to travel to anywhere they want to go, at any time without reporting their movements to local or national authorities.
Was it rude for her to run out on her fiancee? Oh hell yes. Should he ask for the ring back? Probably. Should the Georgia state police demand $60,000 back for a unnecessary search? OH HELL NO! If we need to pay the police directly every time one of their investigations goes sour and they take a shot to their pride, then we might as well privatize police forces now and be done with it. Heaven forbid that I should be out getting groceries and not tell anyone. I wouldn't want to have to pay the police $20,000 because they couldn't figure out I had to go to the next town over to buy a gallon of milk.
If the police want their money back, they should be looking to get it from the media who overdramatize this crap on a daily basis in the constant hope that they will uncover the next SHOCKING SCANDAL THAT WILL GRIP THE NATION!!!
With the media overdramatizing everything, is it anyone wonder why Delay is still in office?
Bullshit. This woman has done nothing wrong. All she did was leave town for the few days and not tell anyone. And unless someone forgot to tell me that we are living in 1950's Soviet Union, I still believe that's acceptable behavior for anyone over the age of 18. The same thing goes for that college student, Audrey Seiler, who pulled the same thing one year ago. They are after all adults. They are of legal age. They have the right to travel to anywhere they want to go, at any time without reporting their movements to local or national authorities.
Was it rude for her to run out on her fiancee? Oh hell yes. Should he ask for the ring back? Probably. Should the Georgia state police demand $60,000 back for a unnecessary search? OH HELL NO! If we need to pay the police directly every time one of their investigations goes sour and they take a shot to their pride, then we might as well privatize police forces now and be done with it. Heaven forbid that I should be out getting groceries and not tell anyone. I wouldn't want to have to pay the police $20,000 because they couldn't figure out I had to go to the next town over to buy a gallon of milk.
If the police want their money back, they should be looking to get it from the media who overdramatize this crap on a daily basis in the constant hope that they will uncover the next SHOCKING SCANDAL THAT WILL GRIP THE NATION!!!
With the media overdramatizing everything, is it anyone wonder why Delay is still in office?
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
ZMG's Review of Sin City
First let me apologize to my faithful readers for my absense. My world it pretty hectic now that I'm trying to finish everything up for my Capstone.. but I do get a chance to get away from everything now and then. Like I did when I went to see Sin City this past weekend.
In a word: Wow.
I can now see why Frank Miller finally allowed someone to make this into a movie. This was an awesome display of what Hollywood is capable of if they set their minds to it. It was truly one of the best movies I've seen in a while. It THIS kind of movie that gives comic book writers the mainstream respect they deserve when they come up with a great comic book. Hopefully the other studios will pay attention and grow up a little before they try to pump out another Son of the Mask out of their collective asses.
Honestly, if you were to rate all action movies based on four categories -- gratuitous sex, gratuitous violence, writing, and special effects -- Sin City raises the bar in all four categories. It is not for the weak of heart even though all the blood in the film is a bright white instead of red. The artistic feeling throughout the film is truly magnificent. It shows only what it need to show and shows color only when there needs to be color. The stories are grim and intertwined on a very minimal level. The heroes find victory on levels they can accept even though they can't always achieve a complete victory and the battles they fight blur the lines between sinner and saint moreso than any other movie has.
Highlights of the film include:
This is a movie worth seeing once or twice.
In a word: Wow.
I can now see why Frank Miller finally allowed someone to make this into a movie. This was an awesome display of what Hollywood is capable of if they set their minds to it. It was truly one of the best movies I've seen in a while. It THIS kind of movie that gives comic book writers the mainstream respect they deserve when they come up with a great comic book. Hopefully the other studios will pay attention and grow up a little before they try to pump out another Son of the Mask out of their collective asses.
Honestly, if you were to rate all action movies based on four categories -- gratuitous sex, gratuitous violence, writing, and special effects -- Sin City raises the bar in all four categories. It is not for the weak of heart even though all the blood in the film is a bright white instead of red. The artistic feeling throughout the film is truly magnificent. It shows only what it need to show and shows color only when there needs to be color. The stories are grim and intertwined on a very minimal level. The heroes find victory on levels they can accept even though they can't always achieve a complete victory and the battles they fight blur the lines between sinner and saint moreso than any other movie has.
Highlights of the film include:
- Lots of beautiful naked women
- Lots of great violence from well developed characters
- A hilarious scene involving a human shish-ka-bob
- A nice conversation-with-a-dead-body scene directed by Quentin Tarantino
- One manual castration
- One serious psycho that would give Hannibal Lecter a run for his money
- One human pez dispenser
This is a movie worth seeing once or twice.
Saturday, April 02, 2005
On Disease, Dying and Death
Well the Pope is dead. Now if only the religion went with him. Maybe we'll get lucky and they'll promote Cardinal Law to the position and everyone will realize how truly fucked up the whole supernatural political system is.
Actually with The Pope and Terri Schiavo dead, I've been forced to consider the ravages of age. I mean, why aren't there any good diseases or good effects of getting older? Why is it that diseases and age only serve to debilitate and disable.
I think we should try and create a disease that helps people lose weight or maybe an airborne bacteria that allows people to have the potential to have more productive sexual experiences. Why is there no form of cancer that gives a person a six-pack of abdonimal muscles?
Just random thoughts for now.
Actually with The Pope and Terri Schiavo dead, I've been forced to consider the ravages of age. I mean, why aren't there any good diseases or good effects of getting older? Why is it that diseases and age only serve to debilitate and disable.
I think we should try and create a disease that helps people lose weight or maybe an airborne bacteria that allows people to have the potential to have more productive sexual experiences. Why is there no form of cancer that gives a person a six-pack of abdonimal muscles?
Just random thoughts for now.
Sunday, March 27, 2005
Happy Dead Jew on a Stick Day
This title may seem a little anti-semite, but you gotta realize that as an atheist (180 proof) not only am I anti-Christ, I am also anti-jew, anti-muslim, anti-protestant, and definitely anti-psychopathic southern "whats-the-harm-of-keeping-Terri-Schiavo-alive-in-a-
tormented-vegetative-state-thats-a-constant-insult-to-the-
person-she-was-just-so-I-don't-have-to-be-insecure-about-
my-own-belief-structure" baptist. Basically while I live in America, I am against any deviation of the original Abrahamic supernatural political organization.. whatever the hell that may have been.
Actually Easter was taken from Oestre, the celtic/pagan holiday of fertility. To celebrate this day of sex, the ancient celtics used the two biggest symbols of fertility they could find. Those being the Egg and the Bunny. So that's where the commercialized crap comes from.
I do love those cadbury cream eggs though. Man, those things have to be on the top ten of the worst things you can ingest right up there with your basic greasy crab rangoon that you get at your local chinese buffet.
But in case you didn't get your cream egg today, I offer you these fantastic jokes about Big Pimp JC.
tormented-vegetative-state-thats-a-constant-insult-to-the-
person-she-was-just-so-I-don't-have-to-be-insecure-about-
my-own-belief-structure" baptist. Basically while I live in America, I am against any deviation of the original Abrahamic supernatural political organization.. whatever the hell that may have been.
Actually Easter was taken from Oestre, the celtic/pagan holiday of fertility. To celebrate this day of sex, the ancient celtics used the two biggest symbols of fertility they could find. Those being the Egg and the Bunny. So that's where the commercialized crap comes from.
I do love those cadbury cream eggs though. Man, those things have to be on the top ten of the worst things you can ingest right up there with your basic greasy crab rangoon that you get at your local chinese buffet.
But in case you didn't get your cream egg today, I offer you these fantastic jokes about Big Pimp JC.
Thursday, March 24, 2005
OH MY GOD THE QUARTERBACK IS TOAST!!
The U.S. Supreme Court has decided NOT to intervene with the Terri Schiavo case in either a display of pure American Justice or sheer political cowardice. Either way...
ITS OVER!!!
Terri Schiavo can die with a little dignity now! The theocracy has gotten its ass kicked and the Bush Klan has never looked more ethically retarded.
I would like to add one more thing if I may.. and I will. Its so nice to see that the religious conscum of this country feel their minds are of so little value that they would be of as much value to society as if they suddenly had no brain functions whatsoever.
Thank you for admitting this so freely in open forum. Our theories in your collective mental states have now been truly confirmed. You may return to your trailer parks now.
ITS OVER!!!
Terri Schiavo can die with a little dignity now! The theocracy has gotten its ass kicked and the Bush Klan has never looked more ethically retarded.
I would like to add one more thing if I may.. and I will. Its so nice to see that the religious conscum of this country feel their minds are of so little value that they would be of as much value to society as if they suddenly had no brain functions whatsoever.
Thank you for admitting this so freely in open forum. Our theories in your collective mental states have now been truly confirmed. You may return to your trailer parks now.
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Two Down, One to Go
The 11th District federal court has denied Terri Schiavo's parent's appeal to have the feeding tube stuck back in her. This means that the religious psychopaths in this country who want to continue torturing this woman by keeping her in a vegetative state for the next 20-30 years are trying to appeal to the supreme court.
Meanwhile Jebediah Bu**sh** is trying to garner support for one last ditch effort to keep Terri in a constant state of nothingness. Personally I've had it with these psychopathic ultra-religious zealots telling us we do not have the right to choose our own fate, especially when these retarded conscum wont allow grants to fund stem cell research that could have saved her early on.
I mean seriously, do these reigious nut jobs actually think some desperate Christian magic trick is going to bring her back to life. Hate to break it to you conscum but God hasn't appeared before any courts to give her testimony recently so I highly doubt there will be any miracles happening any time soon and no amount of voluntary schizophrenia will change that.
If any of my fellow readers would like to assist in the matter, here is Jeb Bush's contact info:
Governor Jeb Bush
850 / 488-4441
850 / 487-0801 (fax)
Executive Office of the Governor
400 S. Monroe Street
The Capitol
Tallahassee, Florida 32399-0001
Let 'em have it my faithful minions... all two of you.
Let's let Terri Schiavo die with the smallest amount of dignity she has left now that the Conscum administration has used her to fulfill their own theocratic needs.
Meanwhile Jebediah Bu**sh** is trying to garner support for one last ditch effort to keep Terri in a constant state of nothingness. Personally I've had it with these psychopathic ultra-religious zealots telling us we do not have the right to choose our own fate, especially when these retarded conscum wont allow grants to fund stem cell research that could have saved her early on.
I mean seriously, do these reigious nut jobs actually think some desperate Christian magic trick is going to bring her back to life. Hate to break it to you conscum but God hasn't appeared before any courts to give her testimony recently so I highly doubt there will be any miracles happening any time soon and no amount of voluntary schizophrenia will change that.
If any of my fellow readers would like to assist in the matter, here is Jeb Bush's contact info:
Governor Jeb Bush
850 / 488-4441
850 / 487-0801 (fax)
Executive Office of the Governor
400 S. Monroe Street
The Capitol
Tallahassee, Florida 32399-0001
Let 'em have it my faithful minions... all two of you.
Let's let Terri Schiavo die with the smallest amount of dignity she has left now that the Conscum administration has used her to fulfill their own theocratic needs.
Monday, March 21, 2005
Toby or Not Toby.. That is The Dinner
I came across this site a couple of months back when I was surfing for links and whatnot. Its about this guy who owns this adorable ball of fluff named Toby and his plans to eat him unless those opposed to eating bunnies raise $50,000 to prevent him from doing so. So far, he's raised a little over $19,000.
Dammit! Why didn't I think of this?
Naturally this guy is going all out with this plan. He's got the whole line of collectable souvenirs with all profits going to save the adorable bunny, Toby. He's got pictures of his cute widdle mug plastered all over his site. He even has a few recipes for how to prepare rabbit, with the word "rabbit" replaced with "Toby."
Toby's owner is also catching a little flack for this endeavor as well. His hate mail page are filled with threats and his FAQ page lists why this act isn't criminal. There is even a SaveTobySucks.com site offering to castrate Toby's owner if they can raise $30,000 (This is of course, assuming these sites aren't both operated by the same guy). Also PayPal has completely wimped out and cancelled his donation link. Not that surprising when you consider Paypal's record for not being the most scrupulous enterprise on the web. Godaddy.com, on the other hand, has shown remarkable yarbles in agreeing that SaveToby.com has so far done nothing fraudulent which would warrant a termination of their services. Usually, when faced with an onslaught of consumer hate mail over the most trivial crap, most corporations fold and will bend over for any customers they may not yet have.
Personally, I have better things to spend my money on than saving some cute widdle bunny. While I don't want to see this adorable critter chopped and stewed on low heat for 30-45 minutes while basting in a succulent sauce, its not like I don't enjoy the occaisional greasy cheeseburger from time to time so I really can't complain. If this guy wants to give his dinner a cute name and befriend it before eating it, thats his way. Its really no different than any restaurant that allows people to choose, from a tank, the lobster they are going to dine on.
I wonder if I would have had the stomach to eat that double pepperoni pizza tonight if it had a cute face looking up at me and a pet name. Oh well.
"I will live in Montana. And I will marry a round American woman and raise rabbits, and she will cook them for me. And I will have a pickup truck... maybe even a "recreational vehicle." And drive from state to state. Do they let you do that?" - Capt. Vasili Borodin, The Hunt for Red October
Hopefully, the conscum in this country wont pass a law ordering Toby's feeding tube reinserted.
Dammit! Why didn't I think of this?
Naturally this guy is going all out with this plan. He's got the whole line of collectable souvenirs with all profits going to save the adorable bunny, Toby. He's got pictures of his cute widdle mug plastered all over his site. He even has a few recipes for how to prepare rabbit, with the word "rabbit" replaced with "Toby."
Toby's owner is also catching a little flack for this endeavor as well. His hate mail page are filled with threats and his FAQ page lists why this act isn't criminal. There is even a SaveTobySucks.com site offering to castrate Toby's owner if they can raise $30,000 (This is of course, assuming these sites aren't both operated by the same guy). Also PayPal has completely wimped out and cancelled his donation link. Not that surprising when you consider Paypal's record for not being the most scrupulous enterprise on the web. Godaddy.com, on the other hand, has shown remarkable yarbles in agreeing that SaveToby.com has so far done nothing fraudulent which would warrant a termination of their services. Usually, when faced with an onslaught of consumer hate mail over the most trivial crap, most corporations fold and will bend over for any customers they may not yet have.
Personally, I have better things to spend my money on than saving some cute widdle bunny. While I don't want to see this adorable critter chopped and stewed on low heat for 30-45 minutes while basting in a succulent sauce, its not like I don't enjoy the occaisional greasy cheeseburger from time to time so I really can't complain. If this guy wants to give his dinner a cute name and befriend it before eating it, thats his way. Its really no different than any restaurant that allows people to choose, from a tank, the lobster they are going to dine on.
I wonder if I would have had the stomach to eat that double pepperoni pizza tonight if it had a cute face looking up at me and a pet name. Oh well.
"I will live in Montana. And I will marry a round American woman and raise rabbits, and she will cook them for me. And I will have a pickup truck... maybe even a "recreational vehicle." And drive from state to state. Do they let you do that?" - Capt. Vasili Borodin, The Hunt for Red October
Hopefully, the conscum in this country wont pass a law ordering Toby's feeding tube reinserted.
Sunday, March 20, 2005
America's Fascination With Superheroes
Actually its quite simple why we flock to tales of men and women running rampant through our streets wearing spandex.
Basically it comes down to politics and power... although cleavage shots don't hurt.
In any organization or relationship where there is power to be had and one person who believes they want more, you are going to have politics. We witness and interact with politics every single day, and not neccesarily through the actions of liberals and conservatives on the television. When we go to the store, customer service representatives of that store will try to persuade the political power we have over our own money to spend it on an item within that store. When we drive down the street, we are in constant political negotiations with other drivers as we vie for lane position, velocity and right of way. When a person or organization has something that other people want, those other people will do anything including becoming and remaining dependent on that person or organization in order to get that valued commodity.
So what does this have to do with superheroes? Everything. A superhero has the innate ability to rise above the political structures of ordinary individuals. With colossal strength, a hero could break down barriers other people cannot. With incredible speed, a hero can run through, around and over obstacles quicker than other people can. With powers over the elements, a hero can create, mold or destroy without requiring approval of bureaucratic procedure. Every hero is his or her own political system outside the direct or indirect control of pre-existing political powers.
Take the movie Hulk for example. Here is a prime example of how superheroes are each their own political system. General "Thunderbolt" Ross is a military career officer. For his entire life he has been trained to control intelligence, military might and put a leash on anything that is not under control. Then there is the Hulk who is a massive icon of pure uncontrollable freedom. He represents individual strength, primal instinct and change. When General Ross takes on the Hulk, the Hulk represents everything that Ross was bred to control and yet cannot control because Ross can not accept the Hulk as his own political system.
This is why we flock to well-portrayed comic book movies and superheroes. We, as ordinary individuals feel compelled to break away from pre-existing political systems that tell us how to live our day to day lives and cling to the fantastic idea that we might become someone who has the power that others will go to instead of having to go to others ourselves. We envy these heroes for what they can do so easily and we want to be like them.
We can, however, become our own heroes. We can educate ourselves, we can learn how to do things, we can take control of our own lives and stop allowing other people decide what we can do with our own bodies and minds. We become heroes when we express ourselves. We become heroes when we allow ourselves to become more than we are told we are. We become heroes when we deny pre-existing organizations from telling us that we can not feel and be who we are within.
Never trust an organization that denies its people education, self-expression and the ability to do with our lives as we see fit.
Basically it comes down to politics and power... although cleavage shots don't hurt.
In any organization or relationship where there is power to be had and one person who believes they want more, you are going to have politics. We witness and interact with politics every single day, and not neccesarily through the actions of liberals and conservatives on the television. When we go to the store, customer service representatives of that store will try to persuade the political power we have over our own money to spend it on an item within that store. When we drive down the street, we are in constant political negotiations with other drivers as we vie for lane position, velocity and right of way. When a person or organization has something that other people want, those other people will do anything including becoming and remaining dependent on that person or organization in order to get that valued commodity.
So what does this have to do with superheroes? Everything. A superhero has the innate ability to rise above the political structures of ordinary individuals. With colossal strength, a hero could break down barriers other people cannot. With incredible speed, a hero can run through, around and over obstacles quicker than other people can. With powers over the elements, a hero can create, mold or destroy without requiring approval of bureaucratic procedure. Every hero is his or her own political system outside the direct or indirect control of pre-existing political powers.
Take the movie Hulk for example. Here is a prime example of how superheroes are each their own political system. General "Thunderbolt" Ross is a military career officer. For his entire life he has been trained to control intelligence, military might and put a leash on anything that is not under control. Then there is the Hulk who is a massive icon of pure uncontrollable freedom. He represents individual strength, primal instinct and change. When General Ross takes on the Hulk, the Hulk represents everything that Ross was bred to control and yet cannot control because Ross can not accept the Hulk as his own political system.
This is why we flock to well-portrayed comic book movies and superheroes. We, as ordinary individuals feel compelled to break away from pre-existing political systems that tell us how to live our day to day lives and cling to the fantastic idea that we might become someone who has the power that others will go to instead of having to go to others ourselves. We envy these heroes for what they can do so easily and we want to be like them.
We can, however, become our own heroes. We can educate ourselves, we can learn how to do things, we can take control of our own lives and stop allowing other people decide what we can do with our own bodies and minds. We become heroes when we express ourselves. We become heroes when we allow ourselves to become more than we are told we are. We become heroes when we deny pre-existing organizations from telling us that we can not feel and be who we are within.
Never trust an organization that denies its people education, self-expression and the ability to do with our lives as we see fit.
Friday, March 04, 2005
Does Atheism Mean There is No Afterlife?
I'm not so sure about this one. Personally, I would like to exist in some form after death, but I'm not so sure if that's possible. I have no memory of myself existing before my birth so I really don't have anything to go off of.
Now death usually means the ending of all metabolic proceses and the general decay of your body as it exists in three dimensions. But, is that all we are? We also exist in a continual expansion of a fourth dimension we refer to as time. Time isn't like our first three dimensions where an object can remain motionless. Time is always pushing things forward or as far as our minds can currently perceive. Our perception of time is rather limited. We can remember things in the past as they used to be, we can plan for things in the future, but we never really have a grasp on it. Time also raises a few questions in terms of existence. Once an object is influence by time, does it only exist in the present? Does it no longer exist a second ago? Will it not be there in the future before we catch up to it?
So we know we exist in at least four dimensions. Three of which we usually have a good handle on. The fourth, not so much. But is that all? Depending on which physicist you talk to, there are maybe 2-3 other dimensions as well. Dimensions we can not perceive. So is it possible that some part of us exists in one of these hidden dimensions and will only be perceived after our present three dimensional bodes are destroyed? Possibly. I know I'd like to think so.
There are also those people who wander around looking for empirical evidence of an afterlife who we refer to as ghost hunters. This is a fascinating study of the possible continuation of conscious existence after death. I mean lets face it, if someone finds hardcore physical evidence of an existence after death, then one of the greatest fears of all time is history.
There is plenty of evidence and stories that tend to bring credit to this possibility. I've had friends tell me great ghost stories of phantom tanks and old statesmen who love to play jokes. But I have yet to hear or see any concrete evidence that any of these phenomena are in any way related to humans or something else entirely. Another possiblity is perhaps these are merely uncertainties in the fourth dimension that people refer to as "thin places". Or could it be that these really are the souls of dead people wandering around. However, that raises the question, does everyone have the ability to exist after death or is it a genetic fluke like being double jointed? Also does anything that gains consciousness also exist in this hidden dimension (i.e test tube babies or artificial intelligences)?
Honestly, I just don't know.. yet.
Now death usually means the ending of all metabolic proceses and the general decay of your body as it exists in three dimensions. But, is that all we are? We also exist in a continual expansion of a fourth dimension we refer to as time. Time isn't like our first three dimensions where an object can remain motionless. Time is always pushing things forward or as far as our minds can currently perceive. Our perception of time is rather limited. We can remember things in the past as they used to be, we can plan for things in the future, but we never really have a grasp on it. Time also raises a few questions in terms of existence. Once an object is influence by time, does it only exist in the present? Does it no longer exist a second ago? Will it not be there in the future before we catch up to it?
So we know we exist in at least four dimensions. Three of which we usually have a good handle on. The fourth, not so much. But is that all? Depending on which physicist you talk to, there are maybe 2-3 other dimensions as well. Dimensions we can not perceive. So is it possible that some part of us exists in one of these hidden dimensions and will only be perceived after our present three dimensional bodes are destroyed? Possibly. I know I'd like to think so.
There are also those people who wander around looking for empirical evidence of an afterlife who we refer to as ghost hunters. This is a fascinating study of the possible continuation of conscious existence after death. I mean lets face it, if someone finds hardcore physical evidence of an existence after death, then one of the greatest fears of all time is history.
There is plenty of evidence and stories that tend to bring credit to this possibility. I've had friends tell me great ghost stories of phantom tanks and old statesmen who love to play jokes. But I have yet to hear or see any concrete evidence that any of these phenomena are in any way related to humans or something else entirely. Another possiblity is perhaps these are merely uncertainties in the fourth dimension that people refer to as "thin places". Or could it be that these really are the souls of dead people wandering around. However, that raises the question, does everyone have the ability to exist after death or is it a genetic fluke like being double jointed? Also does anything that gains consciousness also exist in this hidden dimension (i.e test tube babies or artificial intelligences)?
Honestly, I just don't know.. yet.
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
Its Been A While Since I've Blogged
I'm still alive, I just came across a very fucking scary revelation a few days ago about the fate of man and it just had me fucking scared shitless for the past few days.
I'm hoping its something I can get beyond. I don't like being this scared and for the first time, I'm not sure whether or not to push atheism anymore because I don't think it would be morally right for me to push others towards this possible realization either.
I wouldn't wish this concept to enter the mind of my worst enemy. Hell, I wouldn't wish it on Mad King George.
No one should have to wake up from one political nightmare to enter into a larger nightmare.
UPDATE: I'm feeling much better now. A few brainless idiots on the Yahoo message boards plus $50 worth of retail therapy will do wonders for the soulless.
I'm hoping its something I can get beyond. I don't like being this scared and for the first time, I'm not sure whether or not to push atheism anymore because I don't think it would be morally right for me to push others towards this possible realization either.
I wouldn't wish this concept to enter the mind of my worst enemy. Hell, I wouldn't wish it on Mad King George.
No one should have to wake up from one political nightmare to enter into a larger nightmare.
UPDATE: I'm feeling much better now. A few brainless idiots on the Yahoo message boards plus $50 worth of retail therapy will do wonders for the soulless.
Sunday, February 20, 2005
ZMG's Review of Son of The Mask
Have you ever seen one of those trailers that is so obscenely stupid that you can't help but think that the movie must be terrible. This is one of those trailers.
I have not seen Son of The Mask nor do I have any intention of doing so.. in this life or any other. Not when it is so obvious from the trailer and the actions of New Line Cinema that this is one of the worst movies to ever hit the silver screen.
The comic book series "The Mask" was published by Dark Horse Comics. It was the story of this enchanted Mask of unknown origin that was fated to switch hands every so often and release all inhibitions of the one who wears it and gives that individual literally unlimited resources and the invincibility to do whatever they want. It acted as a "what if" as cartoon violence was brought into every day normal existence and what the repercussions of that violence would be to the people who wear the Mask and those that are victims of it. The only other constant in the series is Lt. Kellaway, an officer who knows what the Mask is and realizes that it should not be loose on the streets, per se. The tone of the comics are very dark and the humor is on the same level of that of The Joker from the Batman comics. It was never, in any way a kiddie comic.
Unfortunately, that's exactly the direction New Line Cinema took with this film. They threw away everything that made The Mask what is was and made it into a kiddie film with the same cutesy Jack Russell terrier from the first movie, a CGI dancing baby derivative of 2004's mega-flop Baby Geniuses 2, and an over-bloated effects budget ($100 million versus the original's $18 million). To latch onto the kiddie cartoon image even more, they named the main character after Tex Avery, the famous cartoonist. New Line Cinema even took the first Mask movie off the shelves at the video stores to keep people who hadn't seen it from finding out how horrible this movie is by comparison. A week before it was released, the New Line studio plants were already infiltrating IMDB and stuffing the ballot boxes with 10's and calling the film a "Masterpiece" and a "Fresh and original Piece".
Note to all studio plants: YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ANYONE!!!
The comic book industry is not a proud business. Writers and artists who work in comic books bend over backwards to please the whiniest fans who think just because they shell out $3 a month for a title, they should have an editorial say in what goes on in the comic book. The writers are rarely able to get away with any major plot shift because they are too scared of losing their audience. Superman is a prime example, in the past 15 years they have tried everything to revamp this character. They have married him to Lois Lane, they have killed him, they have turned him into a being of pure energy, they have split him into two separate beings. For good or bad, almost all of these plot lines were quickly removed within a year of their introduction. No real plot line behind any of the un-revamping, just *poof* and the storyline is back to the same old boring status quo. They even considered selectively wiping out everyone's memories so that Superman wouldn't be married to Lois Lane any more. Other examples include the death of Spider-man's first real love, Gwen Stacy. This happened back in the 70's, but if you go to the Spider-Man message boards on IMDB, many people still gripe and whine about it. Marvel is starting to grow up, however. They have eliminated the outdated comic's code (much to the ire of whiny parents who think the comics should remain as "good wholesome entertainment" with the horribly corny characters as they were back in the Adam West/Batman days) and have stopped printing fan mail. They still have a problem with keeping dead characters dead and Aunt May is still jokingly regarded as comic's most powerful character as she has survived nearly 50 strokes and fatal illnesses with no adverse side effects. The industry is not where it could be, but its getting better.
Comic book movies like Son of The Mask, Catwoman and Elektra don't help and neither do ill-informed movie reviewers who have no concept of background research and shrug movies like this as merely kiddie stuff. Its offensive to everyone who has ever worked in the comics industry, tried to create a quality product and get a little respect for their work and its offensive to those of us who already respect them.
So to the three morons who gave this movie a fresh review as listed on rottentomatoes.com, I would suggest that you each do a little background research before any of you post another bad movie review and try to tell people what a movie like this should be about. Its quite obvious from your individual reviews * * * that none of you have ever seen a Mask comic let alone have ever read one.
Final Grade: None. Movies like Son of the Mask, Catwoman and Elektra are a disgrace and should never have been made as they were. I only hope the Fantastic Four movie coming out this summer was made with a little more intelligence and respect for the original material.
I have not seen Son of The Mask nor do I have any intention of doing so.. in this life or any other. Not when it is so obvious from the trailer and the actions of New Line Cinema that this is one of the worst movies to ever hit the silver screen.
The comic book series "The Mask" was published by Dark Horse Comics. It was the story of this enchanted Mask of unknown origin that was fated to switch hands every so often and release all inhibitions of the one who wears it and gives that individual literally unlimited resources and the invincibility to do whatever they want. It acted as a "what if" as cartoon violence was brought into every day normal existence and what the repercussions of that violence would be to the people who wear the Mask and those that are victims of it. The only other constant in the series is Lt. Kellaway, an officer who knows what the Mask is and realizes that it should not be loose on the streets, per se. The tone of the comics are very dark and the humor is on the same level of that of The Joker from the Batman comics. It was never, in any way a kiddie comic.
Unfortunately, that's exactly the direction New Line Cinema took with this film. They threw away everything that made The Mask what is was and made it into a kiddie film with the same cutesy Jack Russell terrier from the first movie, a CGI dancing baby derivative of 2004's mega-flop Baby Geniuses 2, and an over-bloated effects budget ($100 million versus the original's $18 million). To latch onto the kiddie cartoon image even more, they named the main character after Tex Avery, the famous cartoonist. New Line Cinema even took the first Mask movie off the shelves at the video stores to keep people who hadn't seen it from finding out how horrible this movie is by comparison. A week before it was released, the New Line studio plants were already infiltrating IMDB and stuffing the ballot boxes with 10's and calling the film a "Masterpiece" and a "Fresh and original Piece".
Note to all studio plants: YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ANYONE!!!
The comic book industry is not a proud business. Writers and artists who work in comic books bend over backwards to please the whiniest fans who think just because they shell out $3 a month for a title, they should have an editorial say in what goes on in the comic book. The writers are rarely able to get away with any major plot shift because they are too scared of losing their audience. Superman is a prime example, in the past 15 years they have tried everything to revamp this character. They have married him to Lois Lane, they have killed him, they have turned him into a being of pure energy, they have split him into two separate beings. For good or bad, almost all of these plot lines were quickly removed within a year of their introduction. No real plot line behind any of the un-revamping, just *poof* and the storyline is back to the same old boring status quo. They even considered selectively wiping out everyone's memories so that Superman wouldn't be married to Lois Lane any more. Other examples include the death of Spider-man's first real love, Gwen Stacy. This happened back in the 70's, but if you go to the Spider-Man message boards on IMDB, many people still gripe and whine about it. Marvel is starting to grow up, however. They have eliminated the outdated comic's code (much to the ire of whiny parents who think the comics should remain as "good wholesome entertainment" with the horribly corny characters as they were back in the Adam West/Batman days) and have stopped printing fan mail. They still have a problem with keeping dead characters dead and Aunt May is still jokingly regarded as comic's most powerful character as she has survived nearly 50 strokes and fatal illnesses with no adverse side effects. The industry is not where it could be, but its getting better.
Comic book movies like Son of The Mask, Catwoman and Elektra don't help and neither do ill-informed movie reviewers who have no concept of background research and shrug movies like this as merely kiddie stuff. Its offensive to everyone who has ever worked in the comics industry, tried to create a quality product and get a little respect for their work and its offensive to those of us who already respect them.
So to the three morons who gave this movie a fresh review as listed on rottentomatoes.com, I would suggest that you each do a little background research before any of you post another bad movie review and try to tell people what a movie like this should be about. Its quite obvious from your individual reviews * * * that none of you have ever seen a Mask comic let alone have ever read one.
Final Grade: None. Movies like Son of the Mask, Catwoman and Elektra are a disgrace and should never have been made as they were. I only hope the Fantastic Four movie coming out this summer was made with a little more intelligence and respect for the original material.
Saturday, January 29, 2005
The Ten Commandments
As written by an atheist:
1. Thou are not so special that the universe can not exist without you consciously existing alongside it for all eternity.
2. Thou shall respect and enjoy life because it is the only one you or anyone else will have.
3. Thou shall not fill in the blanks of that which science can not currently explain with superstition or tales of the supernatural.
4. Thou shall not be so arrogant as to believe that if it can not be explained scientifically in your lifetime that it will never be explained scientifically.
5. Thou shall not let anyone tell you that death is spooky for it will not matter to you if you do not consciously exist afterwards.
6. Thou shall not judge anyone based on supernatural politics.
7. Thou shall recognize that good and evil are never cast in stone.
8. Thou shall never justify an action based on the will of a supernatural, omnipotent agent who could have done it for itself.
9. Thou shall leave consenting adults alone.
10. Thou shall not confuse an act of proselytization as an act of love.
11. Thou shall accept that there are uncertainties in everything. To be scientific is to be open to uncertainty. To be satisfied with uncertainty is to be at peace.
1. Thou are not so special that the universe can not exist without you consciously existing alongside it for all eternity.
2. Thou shall respect and enjoy life because it is the only one you or anyone else will have.
3. Thou shall not fill in the blanks of that which science can not currently explain with superstition or tales of the supernatural.
4. Thou shall not be so arrogant as to believe that if it can not be explained scientifically in your lifetime that it will never be explained scientifically.
5. Thou shall not let anyone tell you that death is spooky for it will not matter to you if you do not consciously exist afterwards.
6. Thou shall not judge anyone based on supernatural politics.
7. Thou shall recognize that good and evil are never cast in stone.
8. Thou shall never justify an action based on the will of a supernatural, omnipotent agent who could have done it for itself.
9. Thou shall leave consenting adults alone.
10. Thou shall not confuse an act of proselytization as an act of love.
11. Thou shall accept that there are uncertainties in everything. To be scientific is to be open to uncertainty. To be satisfied with uncertainty is to be at peace.
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Anatomy of a Monotheism
The basic idea behind any western monotheistic religion is a kind of a fill-in-the-blank thought process. Basically it comes down to what people truly know and what they want to know. Let's face it, those who know everything have the potential to control everything. But since science and true empirical knowledge grows at a slow pace, there have always been and will always be holes in what is truly known. Thus the power given by what is truly known has always been limited.
This is where religion comes in. Pro Wreligion basically looks over what is truly known and they seek out the blanks (death, what came before written history, "why am I here?", the future, etc.) and they fill in the blanks with superstition and the supernatural in the form of prose and poetry. This pseudo-knowledge gives religion a greater power than what the standard scientific (tested and retested) knowledge has to offer and thus gives the organization that wields it power over those who want to know everything but have no patience - or the stomach - for the slower scientific methods.
Then as time moves forward, science begins to progress. That which was previously unknown begins to take shape under the scientific process and the religions have a problem. They've been giving their version of pseudo-knowledge for so long that if something were to come along and prove that they were wrong and that they gave out the wrong information, then perhaps they may lose all their beloved power over those who sought their help inthe first place. So religion does the only thing it can do, it digs in, clings to its superstitions and tries to hold back scientific knowledge. While it does slow it down, science typically overcomes religion as religion scrambles tries once again to keep its hold over those who still believe in its "power". Examples of this:
This fill-in-the-blanks pseudo-knowledge isn't faith. Its voluntary schizophrenia.
This is where religion comes in. Pro Wreligion basically looks over what is truly known and they seek out the blanks (death, what came before written history, "why am I here?", the future, etc.) and they fill in the blanks with superstition and the supernatural in the form of prose and poetry. This pseudo-knowledge gives religion a greater power than what the standard scientific (tested and retested) knowledge has to offer and thus gives the organization that wields it power over those who want to know everything but have no patience - or the stomach - for the slower scientific methods.
Then as time moves forward, science begins to progress. That which was previously unknown begins to take shape under the scientific process and the religions have a problem. They've been giving their version of pseudo-knowledge for so long that if something were to come along and prove that they were wrong and that they gave out the wrong information, then perhaps they may lose all their beloved power over those who sought their help inthe first place. So religion does the only thing it can do, it digs in, clings to its superstitions and tries to hold back scientific knowledge. While it does slow it down, science typically overcomes religion as religion scrambles tries once again to keep its hold over those who still believe in its "power". Examples of this:
- Geocentric Solar System - GONE!
- Flat Earth - GONE!
- Creationism - Dying Fast!
- What came before the big bang?
- Is there a state of existence after all metabolic processes cease?
This fill-in-the-blanks pseudo-knowledge isn't faith. Its voluntary schizophrenia.
Friday, December 31, 2004
So What Did We Learn in 2004?
As long as people are in the majority they don't have to care about those in the minority. This may not come as a shock to most, but - my mistake - I thought we lived in a far more civilized society.
White trash is white trash is white trash, regardless of the tax bracket.
American politicians can not be regarded as trustworthy. Religious American politicians, since they only answer to their God and not to mere mortals, are far less trustworthy.
Its apparently ok to dispose of one theological dictatorship in another part of the world while setting up your own in your own backyard.
God is an Atheist.
Shaking hands spreads more germs than kissing.
White trash is white trash is white trash, regardless of the tax bracket.
American politicians can not be regarded as trustworthy. Religious American politicians, since they only answer to their God and not to mere mortals, are far less trustworthy.
Its apparently ok to dispose of one theological dictatorship in another part of the world while setting up your own in your own backyard.
God is an Atheist.
Shaking hands spreads more germs than kissing.
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